Comments on: Friendship

By: Magik Quilter

Magik Quilter — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 04:27:40 +0000

I totally agree with museditions about the wondering if something has happened if people are suddenly not blogging regularly. I email people if concerned. I would rather come across nosy or a worrywart than miss out on critical life issues that can stop some people from blogging.

I believe it is never too late to send thoughts on greeting cards. It is truly wonderful to receive such mail, especially if it is from a distance.

CJ: I think it’s natural that sometimes we’d need a break from blogging; something can interfere in our everyday lives or we just need time to recharge… it shouldn’t feel like an obligation. But I worry too, particularly when I don’t see someone around the community, or if their posts take on a different tone… I drop them a line then as well.

It’s lovely getting real mail, isn’t it? Something with real handwriting… I guess this is why they have belated birthday cards! Thanks for stopping by, MQ.

By: museditions

museditions — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 23:59:19 +0000

oops, paragraph 3, sentence 5 s/b “This may be a bit…” not “They may…” Didn’t want to pin that on anyone else!

CJ: I didn’t even notice when I read it. Funny the difference a few misplaced words can make, eh? Neil Armstrong’s still living it down.

By: museditions

museditions — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 23:08:12 +0000

To answer the first question you asked–never too late. As a writer, you could look upon it as an opportunity to exercise your creativity to describe circumstances and feelings

Interesting exposition about online/offline friendships. I’ve never done any “social networking”, but I’m aware of those MySpace people with a gazillion “friends”. It’s seems the conversation goes something like “hi, whatcha doin’? went to the mall, today!” with a lot of those “friends”. All fine if that is fun for them. I’ve actually been very surprised at how I’ve come to value some of you at WordPress, though. It seems on a different level than Facebook, etc., because we engage in meaningful (to me) dialog. People here write about what’s important to them, and, on that level, share something real about themselves. They then attract other minds ready to engage.

I have some friends too, that I don’t see or talk to for long stretches, and that is OK–we understand each other, and when it’s important we communicate. It’s different in an online community, though. Unless the people want to take the relationship further (from blog comment, to email, to IM or chat, to phone calls, to actually meeting!) then the blog is the only interface for the friendship, and, if a person disappears for even a few days, I find myself wondering how they are, if they’re OK, etc. This may be a bit morbid, but I sometimes wonder: “What if someone has an accident or illness, or even loses their life?” We blog friends may never know. It puts an element of strangeness into the relationship that is not present with RL ones, as usually there, I have an address and phone number and can find out about people.

All this makes me think the online folks are precious, but in a different way. Their presence is so “in the now” and immediate. I must just tune in and value what is right there. Oh, my, you got me going on this!

CJ: That’s true, it does give me a chance to describe some of my feelings (my masculinity allows it on occasions!)… now I just have to brave the post office queues tomorrow.

I like the idea of social networks, but I’m not a big fan of MySpace… I just find there’s too much going on with the sites, too busy. I like Facebook because it’s more of a resource and you can take the conversation off Facebook if you want to. But you’re right, it’s not the same dialogue as you get with blogging or in a forum; it’s not a community like we have with WP.

That’s what I find difficult to describe when people ask me about blogging. Many still think of it as a journal, but really it’s a platform for sharing ideas and to be engaged. It’s the ongoing discussion in the community that makes blogging unique. But things in our lives can suddenly interfere with that, and no one would know… I’ve thought about that too, Muse, and it does feel strange, that we can be so connected but isolated at the same time. I suppose that’s the nature of online life.

I look at relationships as being fluid and that makes me value my online friendships all the more. I don’t know if the same people will be blogging in a year, or if my friends will still be available to chat, so I value the discourse we have now, and watch as it evolves… it’s incredible how far we’ve come online, if you think about it. The world’s a much smaller place and keeping up with all the changes is half the fun!

By: alyndabear

alyndabear — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 09:52:08 +0000

I do know what you means — and I would have sent the card also. Better late than never, and sometimes I think we take the online communication for granted and forget how things used to be. I still adore getting REAL mail (no bills!)

CJ: Thanks, Alynda. I agree, better late than never, particularly if you’re sending it for the right reasons. It’s the thought that counts, right?

We do take online communication for granted sometimes, and mobile phones. We’re always contactable, but they’re all fairly recent innovations if you think about it. I love getting real mail too. At least we all know when Christmas is! I’ve still had more bills than cards this week, though.

By: Colourful Vision

Colourful Vision — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 04:53:29 +0000

Hi CJ long time no see…Glad ur’re back.. Humm, interesting that I did often missed a couple of birthdays and people have missed mine too a few times…But, never got mad about it as I have forgotten some myself…Better receive it late than not at all…I am always happy to receive an happy belated birthday….

I value online friendships as much as offline and I believe honesty is the key to good friendships..If you are not ”real” as person then your friends won’t be either, ”like attracts like”…

CJ: Hey CV, yes, it feels good to be back; I didn’t realise I’d miss blogging and my blog friends so much after only a week! But sometimes life intervenes, eh?

I guess we all forget birthdays sometimes, but that’s why it’s strange that some people react so strongly; if we all do it, you’d think we’d be more understanding… I think my friend will be; she’s usually pretty laid back.

That’s true, like does attract like, but if you think about how many voices there are online, it’s actually quite rare that we’d find someone we click with right away… that’s one advantage with offline relationships, the instant connection. Perhaps that’s why blogging is popular; we get to know someone’s voice and thoughts first, and we can tell if we have something in common. In the end any lasting relationship comes back to honesty; if they’re not real to us, how can we care for them? That’s something writers should listen to as well.