Comments on: Is happiness a state of mind?

By: Colourful Vision

Colourful Vision — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 18:08:07 +0000

Hi CJ,

Interesting subject to talk about my Aussie friend…I agree with what you have mentioned above that being positive is more a mindset that we choose and being optimistic is more of a natural state…Personally, I am an optimistic person but it does not stop myself feeling unhappy about my life right now..So, am I the one that brought these few unwanted events because I conditioned myself being negative?? I think it is far more complex than just thinking negatively; sometimes we are not even consciously aware of the reasons why we are feeling unhappy…Feeling happy goes from the inside and out…

Wish U, CJ, a very happy 2008 and unlimited flash of inspiration that we can, still, for a long time enjoy ur writings..

Cheers!

CJ: Thanks, CV. It’s funny how we come up with subjects, isn’t it? Sometimes something is obvious or topical and I know I want to write about it… other times it takes several things to come together, like with this post! I think happiness is very interesting to talk about because it means so much to each of us, but can be very different.

You’re right about our happiness (and sadness) being shaped in more ways than we’re aware of; many times I can’t pinpoint why I feel a certain way… I think the thing to remember is we’re never truly insulated in our lives… we can protect ourselves, our thoughts, but sometimes it’s natural to feel a certain way, even if it’s not how we want to feel. I don’t think that means we’ve brought it on ourselves, just that that happens in life… sometimes we have to take the bad with the good, and hope that it makes us stronger in our journey…

Happy New Year to you, CV, and best wishes for a peaceful and bright 2008. I look forward to reading more of your beautiful poetry.

By: Magik Quilter

Magik Quilter — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 09:03:33 +0000

Okay, I don’t know what happened with the nose! It was always my favourite part of you as child. And it still is a gorgeous nose Christopher, it is just that it is an adult nose now. A bit like your sense of happiness really, it has changed as you have matured.
Love you heaps,
Mumxxxxx

CJ: I’m still blaming the sandbag. It hurt like hell for weeks, so I wouldn’t be surprised if it was pushed out of joint! Might just have been enough to stop me drinking like a normal person.

Good to know you think I’ve matured. I could do without the nose maturing too, though… what do you think of cosmetic surgery?

By: museditions

museditions — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 07:35:44 +0000

I loved your nose and ginger ale story. It’s nice you shared a piece of your life as an illustration. Words are funny things. Sometimes when I think of a happy person, I imagine them bubbly, frothy, and giggly. I am not that person. I would say more that I’m content, and, at times, even serene. From what you described, you sound mostly content too. You may not be bouncing off the walls, but you surely don’t sound depressed.
You bring up an interesting point about being “positive” vs. being “happy”. It reminds me of one of your past posts about optimism and pessimism. I would think a positive attitude is equivalent to an optimistic one. That doesn’t mean that you don’t ever have a bad day, just that your overall outlook is positive. I don’t know about your friends who are positive, but not happy. Perhaps they’re trying to hard, and not just being?
Here’s a quote: “A happy life is just a string of happy moments. But most people don’t allow the happy moment, because they’re so busy trying to get a happy life.”
–That’s from a teacher of mine. I must admit I don’t entirely understand it, but it seems to apply.

CJ: Glad you liked the story, Muse. It was mighty annoying at the time I can tell you! For a moment I thought I could hear the Mission Impossible theme playing in my head.

It’s interesting how we think about a “happy” person… it’s something of a stereotype, the person who’s always laughing and doesn’t take things too seriously. But fun, joy, cheer are emotions; happiness is what comes from them. Usually I’m fairly content and that’s my definition of happiness, being at peace. I think some of my friends look at happiness as being the same thing as being positive and think they must always be “happy” to suit their outlook; if something goes against how they feel, they dismiss it rather than learn from it. But they might well be happy; they might just have a different definition of happiness and peace than I do.

I was thinking when I was writing the post that it was a bit like the “glass half full” one. I do think there’s a slight difference between being optimistic and positive, though. I think being optimistic is more of a natural state, but often being positive is a mindset that we choose; we choose whether something will impact us positively or negatively. I think we can look at the world optimistically (or pessimistically) but it’s shaped by many more factors, while our mindset is shaped by us. It’s a mild distinction but I think it makes sense?

Love the quote, btw. That’s Esther Hicks, isn’t it? It’s so true that people try so hard to be happy but don’t always recognise what makes them happy on the way! I’ve always loved one by Nathaniel Hawthorne. “Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” That’s what it means to me.

By: sulz

sulz — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 23:18:11 +0000

hahaha! your nose doesn’t look big in your picture, but it’s small and your moustache and beard probably helped hide it better.

of course being happy makes you healthier! (doesn’t mean you won’t fall sick, of course.) not only scientific research has claimed happiness makes you live longer, it also says that lonely, depressed people die younger (than their happier counterparts). but of course, scientific data can be quite biased without us knowing it, so can’t exactly take it for absolute truth; yet i still think it makes much sense.

i think happiness is part state of mind and part physiologically-conditioned. i mean, that’s why there are people who are clinically depressed, right? they aren’t being depressed just because they want to – low serotonin levels and all that.

happiness can also be caught on. if your loved ones are happy, you’ll probably get infected by the mood, unless you have a reason to be grumpy.

as for a positive outlook, i’m very pessimistic about myself but optimistic for others. i’m trying to change that though, after having some personal problems that got me down. sometimes i still think i don’t have it all, but when i think again, i know what i’ve got is great too!

CJ: Well, my nose probably isn’t quite as big it sounds. I had a look at the glasses again today and they’re slightly narrower than the average size. But it could be the beard too!

I agree that we often feel healthier when we’re happier, and lots of people who are unhappy or depressed often die younger or achieve less. But I’m not so sure it’s this standard either. I mean, I know a few of the most stubborn, cantankerous old people you’d ever meet. I’m sure some of them will outlive me! They’ve rarely seemed happy in their lives, but they’ve clung on to life just the same, maybe just out of spite. So there’s hope – maybe if we’re not happy we can be miserable and live just as long!

You’re right as well, there’s definitely a physiological/psychological element to happiness. Some people just can’t make the same connections we can due to depression or impairment or for whatever reason… even with medication, it’s difficult for them to function. It should make us more appreciative of what we can feel, although sometimes it’s easier said than done.

I think a lot of people are harder on themselves than they are on other people… maybe that’s part of being pessimistic about yourself but optimistic for others. I liked the new sulz before, btw, but it was still you, so I don’t think there’s as big a difference as you’d think!

By: brightfeather

brightfeather — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 22:35:24 +0000

As a person who struggles every day to remain alive and happy, regardless of my circumstances, I have also been exploring this topic in my personal blog this year.

I do believe that happiness is to a great extent a decision that we make between our ears. And, it’s my experience that striving to remain happy no matter what is an empowering choice that we can make in our darkest hours, when circumstances would indicate otherwise.

I hope you will indulge me by allowing me to post this link to Crossroads: Happiness Questions because when I’m feeling unhappy and finding it hard to make another choice I use this process to evaluate where I’m at and how to move forward and into the light. I hope by sharing it that others may also benefit from the process.

Namaste (I salute the divine light within both thee and me, in that time and space within us, wherein we are one. )

CJ: Thanks, brightfeather. One of the reasons I wanted to write this post was to work through some of my own feelings on happiness, particularly as something to look back on in darker moments… seeing other people working through similar things is a great comfort as well.

Often times I think happiness is a decision we make; something happens in our lives, and how we choose to react to it determines how we feel. If someone makes a joke at my expense, for instance, I can either take offence or let it go and laugh at the joke. Sometimes the decision is more difficult than that, but knowing I can choose and have control is very empowering.

Sometimes, though, I think things just happen as well, and shape our response. If a friend dies, it would be normal for me to be sad, and that’s something I can’t control; I can choose to remember and honour their life, but some part of me will still be sad. I think respecting that and my path is important too.

Thanks for the link, and peace and happiness to you, always.