I haven’t posted much about my writing recently but I have a little good news to share about my novel for those following my progress: I finally finished the novel’s outline last week and as I couldn’t sleep last night as it was so hot in Sydney, at about 5:30 am I sat down and officially started on the first full draft of my novel. So it’s finally getting there.

To be honest I was so tired that I only managed a few lines but after more than two years planning it and all the backstory, it feels great to have finally started on it properly and I’m very excited with how it’s turning out. Can’t wait to get stuck into it later tonight.

As you can see in the photo I’ve given it the working title of Hallowden; at this stage I think it will probably be the final title as well, although that might change with time. Hallowden is the name of an ancient city where the majority of the novel is set and while I considered some other titles as well, in the end I thought it was the most suitable title as the city defines much of the novel. It also adds a bit of mystery to it that I like as well.

So what’s the novel about? Well, without giving too much away, the novel is about a man who returns to his home in Hallowden after fighting in a distant war, only to find that during his absence the ancient city has been taken over by extremists and is being torn apart by civil war. In the midst of the civil war, his lover has disappeared, feared killed in a brutal terrorist attack, and he must descend into Hallowden’s underworld to find the truth of what’s happened to her, to Hallowden, and to find her if she’s still alive.

The novel is set on an alternate Earth where magic and science are the same and it’s essentially a modern fable about religious extremism and the cost of war. It’s a bit of an adventure and a bittersweet love story as well… I guess I’m just trying to write the kind of novel I’d like to read and hopefully it will turn out well.

I hope to have this first draft (basically a rough draft without any dialogue or exposition) finished in about a month, then will start on the second (main) draft which will probably take about three or four months to write. There’ll probably be some revisions after that as well but with luck, hopefully I’ll have the whole thing finished in about six months.

Now that I’ve started I’ll be posting an update on my progress about once a fortnight and I’m also currently writing a short story set in the same world which I will post sometime in the next few weeks. If I have time I might also write a few other stories to help explore the novel’s backstory as well but I’ll see how I go first.

As far as my other writing goes, I’ve also almost finished a new poem which I’ve been working on for some time now and hope to post shortly. It’s a bit different to my normal poetry and I’m quite happy with it so far.

I’ve also been thinking about putting together an ebook collection of some of my previous works as a few people have suggested it to me now. The main reason I haven’t before is that I don’t think I own the copyrights to some of my published stories, so I’ll have to sort through my other stories and see if they’re of a high enough standard. The full novella version of The Life Artist might be an option… we’ll see.

I’m also still working on restoring my great-great grandfather Isaac’s memoir. I have a version of it scanned but the quality isn’t very good, so I need to type it by hand, which is a little time-consuming at the moment. I’m not sure when it will be finished but if anyone wants to read it in the meantime, I can send them the scanned copy. Just let me know.

In any case that’s where I’m up to with my writing at the moment. The novel’s coming along well and it feels great to finally be working on the first draft. I’ll have a bit more to reveal about the story once the draft’s finished as well.

Thank you to everyone who’s left comments or sent me emails recently as well. I haven’t had time to reply yet but I’ll be answering them properly tonight. ~ CJ.

Christmas Dinner

Merry Christmas to everyone celebrating today. I hope you’re having a wonderful day with family and friends, wherever you are in the world.

I had a quiet day with my parents today; it was just us as most of our family live overseas and we don’t see our Australian relatives that often. We had a lovely roast for dinner, then opened a few gifts afterwards. It was actually the first time we’ve had a roast in about ten years as we normally have a salad instead; it was delicious but typically we picked the hottest Christmas day in years to have it on. Must be Murphy’s law.

My parents gave me a set of beautiful plates to go with my Egyptian collection and a new mouse for my MacBook. My father bought it from the Apple store and the salesman must have got a bit technical as apparently he was amazed to find out that Dad doesn’t use a computer at all… then flabbergasted that Dad doesn’t own a mobile phone either! I think he thought Dad was some kind of eccentric hermit.

In any case we had a nice day and I thought I’d post another of my Aussie Christmas songs to celebrate. This is the fourth song I’ve written now after The Aussie 12 Days of Christmas, Aussie Jingle Bells and We Wish You an Aussie Christmas, so I guess it’s becoming something of an annual tradition!

This year I did an Aussie version of Deck the Halls. Originally I wanted to do Frosty the Snowman or Silver Bells but they were hard to translate to Australia. I think Deck the Halls works better and it’s also easy to sing along to as everyone knows the tune.

I hope you enjoy it. And Merry Christmas.

Deck the Ute

Deck the ute with lights and wattle
Fa la la la la la la la la
We’ll take it for a drive and go full throttle
Fa la la la la la la la la
Kids are singing in the back seat
Fa la la la la la la la la
Spreading Christmas cheer to all we meet
Fa la la la la la la la la

Soon we’re pulling up at the rellies
Fa la la la la la la la la
And getting ready to open the pressies
Fa la la la la la la la la
Hope it’s not more socks from Aunt May
Fa la la la la la la la la
Oh well guess I can sell them on eBay
Fa la la la la la la la la

Come one o’clock and we’re by the pool
Fa la la la la la la la la
Drinking beer and trying to stay cool
Fa la la la la la la la la
Jamie’s pulling on Susie’s hair
Fa la la la la la la la la
While Dad’s nodding off in his chair
Fa la la la la la la la la

We say g’day to the neighbours
Fa la la la la la la la la
Hear all about their yearly labours
Fa la la la la la la la la
Tom and Amy are getting married
Fa la la la la la la la la
No wonder they all look so harried
Fa la la la la la la la la

Everyone gathers around the table
Fa la la la la la la la la
Eats as much as they are able
Fa la la la la la la la la
Aunt May’s brought a giant fruit cake
Fa la la la la la la la la
Tastes just like Grandma used to make
Fa la la la la la la la la

Soon it’s time for everyone to go
Fa la la la la la la la la
We say our goodbyes and Ho Ho Hos
Fa la la la la la la la la
Pull out of the drive and speed away
Fa la la la la la la la la
Waving behind us to Aunt May
Fa la la la la la la la la

Back home and the kids are fast asleep
Fa la la la la la la la la
Carry them to their beds without a peep
Fa la la la la la la la la
Quietly we turn off all the lights
Fa la la la la la la la la
And sleep away another Aussie Christmas night
Fa la la la la la la la la

I turned 27 today. I’ve never been that big on birthdays so I’ve just had a quiet day at home with my family today. I spent the afternoon looking through some old photos and keepsakes as well which was nice. It’s become a bit of a birthday tradition over the years.

My father bought this cake from Michel’s Patisserie earlier today as well as a birthday treat. It’s a mix of milk chocolate and white chocolate mud cake with just a hit of rum. It was delicious and almost too pretty to eat! Almost.

I often find myself thinking back to that day. I was sixteen at the time and my parents and I were living in a hideous cockroach-infested flat in Hillsdale that we hated and were trying to move out of as quickly as possible. At the time I felt miserable; it was one of the first times that my health had worsened and I felt trapped and lonely and missed my friends. I’d also just received several nasty rejection letters, which for a sixteen year old who’d only just started writing were devastating.

Then September 11 happened and it put some things in perspective. I can still remember exactly where I was when I first heard about it; I was having a shower when my mother knocked on the door and said there’d been an explosion at the World Trade Center. I didn’t understand at first; I thought she meant there’d been an accident and didn’t think much more about it while I finished and got changed. When I came through though I knew immediately it was serious; my parents were staring at the television, horrified. I looked at the TV which had crossed to one of the US stations and saw the smoke and fire… and then moments later the second plane flew into the South Tower.

For as long as I live I don’t think I’ll ever forget the feeling in my stomach as I watched the plane hit; it was almost physical, like my soul had suddenly been ripped from my body. I felt weak at the knees and had to sit down. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing; I remember hearing shouts and screams coming through the TV but it felt surreal, like I was watching it all from somewhere far away.

We just stared at the TV for a while after that, talking a little but mostly just watching. One of the main things I remember is seeing people jumping from the windows, jumping and falling. I didn’t understand at first; I thought it was debris. I think deep down I knew they were people jumping but my mind just wasn’t able to accept what I was seeing. Then the towers collapsed; each time it happened it felt like it was in slow motion and I remember trying to speak, to shout, but only managed a whispery “no”. My eyes were wet and I cried silently, the first time I had cried in years.

Probably what I remember the most though are the images and sounds from the aftermath; of people walking through the streets, dazed, covered in dust; of walls covered with photos of the missing and flowers; of hundreds of shrill alarms ringing constantly in the background of news reports. I’d actually not known what those alarms were until I heard it mentioned today; I had thought they were car alarms but they were the alarms that the firefighters wore, going off beneath the rubble.

Most of all though I remember the solidarity afterward, the way America and the world seemed to come together in the days and weeks after the attacks. There was anger and sadness but also hope and unity as well. It wasn’t just America that was attacked that day, it was an attack on the values of the Western world and in a way I think, on that day, we were all Americans. We stood as one.

I had thought my memories of September 11 would fade somewhat as time went by and to some extent they have but I don’t think that they will ever truly fade. I think certain experiences have such a strong impact on you that you never forget them; they become part of you and shape who you are and, even watching from half the world away, September 11 was one for me.

I think one of the reasons why it had such a strong impact on me, other than the visual impact, was that it was the first event that really changed how I looked and thought about the world. As someone who grew up in the 90s, the world seemed a lot smaller and simpler before September 11; the attacks made me realise just how large and complicated the world really was and I suppose I lost my innocence on that day in many ways.

The other reason I think is because September 11 was the catalyst that eventually led me to becoming an atheist. I know many people found comfort in religion after the attacks (and later after Bali too) and I understand why but personally I struggled to balance what happened with what I’d been taught to believe. While it wasn’t until much later in 2007/2008 that I finally became an atheist, looking back I can see now that it was September 11 that started it.

Thinking about September 11 now though, it’s remarkable how much has happened and how much the world has changed over the last ten years. I doubt that there’s one part of our lives that hasn’t been affected by September 11 in some way; from security at airports when we fly, to the way we interact with different cultures, to the media saturation and the kinds of entertainment we consume, to the way we’ve learnt to live with fear and uncertainty. It really is a different world.

If I’m honest like many people I’m not that happy about a lot of what has changed. I understand the need for increased security but I find the intrusion into our everyday lives by both government and police excessive and the way that our rights have been restricted and the way asylum seekers continue to be treated by the government in the name of national security particularly concerns me. Perhaps it’s a necessary evil but it feels more and more like we’re being ruled by Big Brother in Australia and that’s not an environment I want to live in.

It is remarkable just how much has happened in the last ten years though when you stop to think about it. If someone had told me that New York, Bali, Madrid and London would be attacked and we’d see the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression, devastating earthquakes and tsunamis across Asia, governments overthrown, the first African American President and Australia’s first female Prime Minister, the end of Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden, the rise of the Kindle and the iPad and social networking, the death of Heath Ledger and Michael Jackson, all within the next ten years, I wouldn’t have believed them. It feels like enough to have filled two decades… and yet at times it’s all gone by so quickly as well.

For me personally a lot has changed over the last ten years as well. In 2001 I was 16 and dreamt of being a journalist; next week I’ll be 27 and that dream is now mostly just a memory. I have a beard and a little less hair now and I feel older and a little wiser. My taste in music has changed, as has my taste in food. My health is probably worse now than it was, yet somehow I feel happier and more content with who I am at the same time.

I’ve had my heart broken and my dreams trampled on but somehow I’ve always come back stronger. I no longer wear glasses except to read and I’m finally working on my first novel. I’ve felt helpless while my grandmother almost died and I’ve lost old friends and made new ones and we’re about to move again now after almost a decade. So much has changed, and yet, so much is still the same. Life goes on, I guess, even when you’re not looking.

One of the things I always think about with September 11 as well is music. I remember in the days after the attacks I would often turn on the radio or MusicMax, just to take myself away from the scenes that dominated the news, if only for a few minutes. It was how I discovered many of my favourite artists, like Dido and Sarah McLachlan, Radiohead and Nick Cave and Coldplay.

There’s one song though that more than any other I associate with September 11. It’s Ryan Adams’ New York, New York. It was shot just four days before the attacks and contains some of the last recorded footage of the towers before they fell.

At the time the song felt somewhat bittersweet as it was a beautiful song, yet the lyrics carried these sad double-meanings because of September 11 and the video that accompanied it. But as time has gone by, the feeling I get when I listen to the song has changed; listening to it now, it feels more hopeful and reminds me of how time heals. While there is still a sadness to it I think, listening to it now, ten years on, the true character of the song has returned… rather like New York itself.

So I thought I’d post the song today as perhaps more than anything, this is the feeling I have now, ten years on, when I think about September 11… of sadness and reflection, of remembrance, but also of hope and life moving on, and for me this song represents that.

My thoughts and best wishes go out to all of my friends and everyone in the US on this difficult day. May we never forget. And to everyone who lost someone that day, and to everyone that survived, I hope you have begun to find peace.

A bicycle rack in Belmore Road, Randwick, shaped like a Penny Farthing. ~ © CJ Levinson 2011

… well, not exactly arrested. But I guess I should start at the beginning.

I went for a quick walk last night and took this photo while I was out. It’s one of a number of bicycle racks commissioned by Randwick City Council that have appeared around Randwick over the last few months; they’re shaped like old Penny Farthings and are meant to mix art and function to make everyday objects seem more interesting. They’ve sparked something of a debate locally about whether they’re art, utilities or just a waste of money but personally I like them; I love the design and anything that makes people think about cycling seems like a good idea to me.

I’ve been wanting to take a photo of one of the bicycle racks for a while as they’re so distinctive and finally got the chance to last night. The light was just right and I like how it came out; I was even lucky enough that a young couple were just crossing the road as I took the shot, which adds a nice dimension to it.

I didn’t see it as I took the photo but the car on the right was actually a police car and just after I took the shot, a female officer yelled at me and demanded to know what I was doing. Her tone was accusatory and I froze for a moment before pointing at the rack and said I was taking a photo of it for a project. She said something else which I didn’t quite hear and made a movement like she was going to get out of the car; for a moment I thought she was actually going to come over and confiscate my camera. But someone in the car must have said something because she turned her head to listen and sat back and a few moments later they drove off, not saying anything, leaving me staring after them.

Even now, thinking back, I still don’t understand what she thought I was doing and to be honest I’m rather annoyed about it. I’d done nothing wrong; it’s not like I was trespassing on private property – I was in a public space, taking a photo of a public item, which anyone is entitled to do. I mean, I’d understand if it looked like I was taking photos of people against their will but the street was practically deserted, so it was obvious I wasn’t doing that, and if she thought I was taking photos of shops to rob or something, well, I’d hardly be using a big DSLR and drawing attention to myself, now would I?

I’m just getting tired of this attitude that if you’re walking around with a camera you must be some kind of pervert or criminal, not someone who’s just enjoying a hobby like anyone else. It’s not the first time I’ve been confronted about taking a photograph but there was something much more accusatory about her tone than I’ve experienced before and that the police not only don’t seem to know what a photographer’s rights are but also automatically suspect them rather than giving them the benefit of the doubt troubles me. Why should we be treated differently to anyone else?

For what it’s worth I’m always careful about the kind of photos I take. I rarely take photos of people without their permission and when I do it’s usually only to capture a moment without interfering (like this one), and I’m careful around women and children in particular. Likewise if I’m taking photos of buildings I’ll usually ask first if it’s okay, particularly if it’s a sensitive building like a shopping centre, church or synagogue. Most photographers are similarly careful and being treated like we’re criminals is insulting.

Personally I think there was an ageism factor as well; a lot of people always seem to expect the worst of young people and maybe seeing me, she jumped to conclusions. I guess it’s also possible she was just having a bad day and took it out on the first person she saw. Still, I resent it. If she really didn’t know what I was doing all she had to do was ask civilly and I’d have been happy to explain; it was her tone and that she made me feel like I was doing something wrong, that I was guilty, that I objected to. And the thing is, it’s only going to happen more and more often in a world where everyone has an iPhone and we’re all taking pictures. If a lot of police officers really don’t know what rights photographers have, then maybe it’s something they need to be taught.

At least the photo came out well. So I guess it was worth it in the end.